Sunday, November 29, 2009

Celestial body has lost its orbit.

Randomness: I am performing this weekend; three shows, all SOLD OUT, 240 people will see our rendition of 'A Raisin in the Sun' :-)

I have always despised the other woman with a feminist passion. I regarded her as a lost soul, a celestial body that has lost its orbit. The man, the adulterer, who chose to sidestep his commitment to his girl friend/wife was even more despised.I knew that I could never willingly jump into bed with a man that was in a relationship; my own nature was too territorial, I was too proud to share a man.
Well. Never say never, right?
I met him at a supper club; we exchanged numbers and he came to see me the next day. I am not sure why I accepted to spend time with him but I strongly suspect it was because it was dreary outside; days were shorter, the air was colder. I was overwhelmed as I took on too many projects and found myself with little time to enjoy anything else. Furthermore, he was exotic; 14 years my senior, a businessman. He was educated, well traveled, there was so much to learn from him. He would come see me after work, my favorite raspberry crumble in tow, and we'd stay in his car and talk for hours.
A couple weeks later, I decided to stop seeing him before it went any further.

The 'last night', we got some take out from an African restaurant and took it back by his place. He lived on the 9th floor of a beautiful building that overlooked the entire city. I opened the curtains and closed the lights; darkness and thousands of lights scintillating. He opened a bottle of Porto and we talked and talked and talked.
Then, his girl friend called. He gestured for silence and went out of the room to speak to her. I got up, went to the window and looked down at the city. I called a friend and all the while, I thought 'What am I doing here? Why did I have dinner with him tonight? Why didn't I cut off all ties the minute I found out he had a girlfriend?' He came back, excused himself, mumbled something about his girlfriend taking a study break. I stayed on the phone, morose, pouting. He asked me to hang up, I ignored him.
Morning came, I jumped in the shower, I used her shampoo and her conditioner, and her lotion, and her face cream.
I didn't feel like I was hurting her; She knew, is this not how their own relationship had started? Did he not have a girlfriend before he shed her for this one? Did she not notice her displaced products, the gaps in his schedule, the very core of his wandering nature? Was she not aware that, when confronted to a faulty relationship, he searched for a new situation, broke off the old and started with the new?
Ah, the balms we use to ease our conscience...

The 'last night' came about a month later. I have been sleeping better ever since.


Retromus-ik said...

I saw this post last night, I wrote a comment but then it disappeared. I'll go at it again;)

Although, you felt guilt, I hope somehow this experience enriched you in one way or another, as in all that you've learned from it, about yourself etc. Everyone does things they later regret or even regret while doing so, what's important is that you actually decided to pull yourself from that situation. I don't know him, but you're worth more than a clandestine relationship. Love ya!

Retromus-ik said...

Oh and good luck with your shows, I didnt know tickets were being sold already!

O.F.C.J. said...

Intriguing post... very intriguing. These moments do happen. When we're in the middle of a 'should not' situation asking/telling ourselves, "um...what am I doing? I need to go now..." And yet continue. They are conflicting and confronting. Oh what tainted moments. The most substance is in the self vow made afterwards to avoid them from ever passing again.



Nana said...

@Retro; you know I'm all about learning. It was an amazing experience in terms of emotions I felt, as well as seeing the world from a diffrent angle. I learned about myself in the process, furthermore, I wrote 'wives and lovers', a story that makes me very proud :-)
@ofcj; definitely, never ever again. I couldn't have done this if I cared truly about the person.

Nana said...
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