Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Drinking coffee elsewhere.

I bumped into my ex, this prompted a curt telephone conversation and an invitation for coffee. I'm not proud to admit that it was my idea. He told me he didn't drink coffee anymore but he could get a hot chocolate.
This is really silly but I was floundered. For a good minute, my eyebrows furrowed, I muttered; he doesn't drink coffee anymore?!
See. My ex and I used to drink coffee in the morning together. It was a ritual, a sort of bonding routine, we were starting our day as one. I was never a big drinker until I started sharing my nights with him. Then, a good steaming cup of coffee came to signify a good start, the beginning to a good day. It was comforting. When we broke up, I continued our daily routine; a lover's truce.
So. My ex doesn't drink coffee anymore, I wonder what else has changed? I mean, I know that I've changed. The last 10 months have been eventful; I've felt, pondered, experienced things, people...
I used to dream of reconciliation; I hoped we could pick up where we left off, minus the pain, the struggling, the insecurity. I imagined that I could hold Babygirl's hands, as we strolled through streets, her father at my side. It's been time I drink my coffee elsewhere...

Fairy Tales.

When I was a little girl, I loved "Beauty and the beast", "Cinderella", "Snow White".
From a young age, my "Happily ever after" consisted of finding a man to love and to cherish. In fact, most of my girlfriends have been fed this bullshit. We fell in this trap; we've been searching for prince charming, whilst laying down with a whole lot of toads...

David introduced me to "FABLES" a graphic novel about all your favorite fairy tales characters, whom have been forced out of their lands and have taken refuge in New York City.

It's a beautiful, fresh satyr; Snow White, after killing the seven dwarfs (they used to sexually abuse her), divorced Prince Charming (after finding him on top of her sister, Rose Red), Cinderella was abandoned by her prince, Bigby (the big bad wolf) reformed and is currently a detective, Rose Red is dating Jack (the bean boy). You'll be happy to learn that Beauty and The Beast are still married, they go through their ups and downs, in fact they argue like an old couple (centuries of marital life might do that to you) but they are still in love.
OH. David and I broke up, by the way. We realized that we both had some issues to work out. Also, we had different expectations and perception of commitment etc... It was mutual, in fact; It was the cleanest break up I've ever had.

I'm re-evaluating my "Happily ever after". I want to be in love again, it will come, but I refuse this to dictate my happiness.

I'm wondering; Am I the only one that feels like happiness and love are one and the same?


Retromus-ik said...

I think I never did equate the two because of my family history, which you already know;) Well, I mean love as in romantic love. I do believe love in general is essential to happiness. I'm happiest here with my fam' in Georgia.

I'm sorry to hear about David, but I'm glad it was a non-drama filled break-up, and that it was something you both wanted.

I do find that romantic love is important though, but I don't think having that someone is the only way one can be happy. Anywho, I have no doubt that you'll meet your non-stereotypical but even greater prince charming;)

I'll be in Mtl, on friday, so I'll call you!

latree said...

I think love could be happiness or sadness. I often imagine that cinderella was finally kicked out when the prince got bored... funny.

I hope you find the best way for you and your ex.

Jossie Posie said...

I love Fables and how it obliterates any idea of "Happily Ever After".

I Make Eye Candy said...

I'm sorry to hear about David. Clean breaks are good though and you sound at peace.

I think that Happily Ever After tripe flew out of my head when I realised I wasn't perfect and no one else was either. I met the Seven Dwarfs and killed him figuratively, left Prince Charming who charmed my socks off in my first year of uni and proceeded to bring the drama full scale for the next four years.

I'm hoping I've found my Beast.

Lion-ess said...

Hi stranger... I definitely need to check out fables... never heard of it before. I think of all the fairy tales Beauty and The beast is the best and more real like. She got to love and know her beast before marriage, while the other fairy tales were based on superficial beauty.

O.F.C.J. said...

Congrats on your clean break. I wish you well. Love (the real one.) Is synonymous to sincere happiness. Have you ever met an unloved person? Have you ever felt unloved? It's bitter, isn't it? Such awesome happiness can onlly be gained from real love though. I guess that is where all the most "love" seekersa fall flat and longing in their search.

Godspeed, I know if you follow the right path, you will find your "beast" prince ;)


Akirah said...

I'm glad the break was clean. It's always best when both sides agree.

And yes, I do think that joy and love are synonymous. But I don't think that means romantic love. I love from family, friends, boyfriend, and most importantly, my Jesus. And when I try to extend that love to others, that brings me the greatest joy of all.

Eros love will come for you. I have no doubt of that.

Americanising Desi said...

i wonder how the break is clean?
i havent managed that :(

makes me a very frustrated person doesnt it :(

The JaM said...

Love your style of writing! It just flows so beautifully. Really a great read... And you're a Leo just like me :-D I'm Aug 12.

I often wonder about this 'happily ever after' malarky, too. Like any sane person, I want to be happy with someone who fits me like a glove. But I often worry that our indivual ideals of what love/happiness have been tainted by societal pressures. I mean I'd like to think that my love/happiness ideals have been created from my relationship experiences over the years... but sometimes you just can't get away from those outside pressures!

Nana said...

Hmmm, meeting up with an ex even for just a "coffee" or in your case "hot chocolate" can be difficult.

I love fables! Never heard of it before but those fairytales we get fed as children do us some serious damage. I'm going to write a post on relationships soon on my blog and will link to this post.

Stay well

linda may said...

G'Day, Did you ever see a cartoon on the T.V over there called fractured fairy tales.That Fables novel sort of reminds me of them. Funny though that it brings those all stories into the real world.
Hey the love and happiness thingy you asked. I reckon there are many different types of love and happiness, none of them all consuming of us and our lives. But yes I do believe in fairy tales. I thought I had one until it all got turned upside down and had the shit shaken out of it but I am getting it back and hope we stay that way. So yes it could be done. But I don't believe in perfection.

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