Saturday, May 30, 2009

Conversations with God.

L'Oratoire St-Joseph, my favorite Prayer place.

I'm a lone wolf; I like to pray alone.
I like to talk to God, interpret his word in my own manner & live according to what I believe is ethical. I've had many moments where I felt like my back would break from stress,pain, aching, but I always prevailed.
I believe that God is within me, he has provided me with all the resources & tools to pull through, no matter the obstacle. When I doubt, when I belittle myself, when I feel guilty towards a particular situation; I remind myself that experiences, bad or good, are part of my journey...
A bad day is just that; one day. I'll have hundreds of them but i know that everything is temporary, whether it is happiness, sadness or pain. There can be no Joy, if there is no Pain, no Life if there is no Death. It is all God.
I don't believe that Death is the end; I believe we are reborn, that although our bodies are fragile & will decay, our spirits are timeless. I believe that God is sickness, just as much as he is healing, he is as revengeful as he is forgiving, as hateful as he is loving.
In my heart, I believe that God is NOT religion. Religion is something orchestrated by humans who strive to render everything more complex. God is simple; he is honest, he is flawed, he keeps learning, he is just, he is opinionated but not forceful.

When I feel my mind is cluttered, I go to the Oratory. I light candles, & pray. Then, I sit down on a bench & write on whatever piece of paper I can find. I put any thoughts, feelings or preoccupations down on paper. It always feels like my mind opens & my heart is lighter.

A personal relation with God is important to me. I used to go to church (Catholic & Protestant) & it didn't suit my faith. I don't need a pastor or a priest to tell me what is right or wrong. I don't like mingling with people who say one thing & do another or who act holier-than-thou...but only on Sunday. Obviously, the way I look at God/life isn't an Universal truth. I believe that 'Truth' is relative & so should be one's spiritual path. If going to Church, the Synagogue or the Mosque, renders you a better/happier person, If NOT believing, makes you kinder/stronger/fulfilled, keep with it.

I've been fascinated with fasting (for spiritual & health purposes) & I am finally ready. I'm researching it right now, but if anybody has fasted, or wants to fast, then perhaps we can start together?


Lion-ess said...

fasting is something that I always wanted to do... pray, fast, meditate and write...

let's do it!!

Dee Martin said...

It's wonderful to have "conversations with God" whether it be through prayer, fasting, or just sitting in His presence. You seem to have a strong faith and that will sustain you. This was very eloquent and thoughtful.

~EssenseVibez~ said...

my sistah, you have a old soul--your life journey is headed in the right direction---you see, God designs us to make mistakes--and it is in those mistakes a lesson is learned--its like taking baby steps--He is there to pick us up when we fall--dust us off and send us on our way again--your place of worship is simply beautiful--i think my deepest conversations with God is when i'm up in the air in a plane--being there surrounded by the clouds makes me feel closer to him---so i conversate with him--my words are more powerful--i apologize for my wrongs and praise Him for leading me to be the person I am today--you wrote a beautiful piece here--so true and so you--live in the moment and remain blessed my sistah

Anonymous said...

I am so similar in my sentiments about God and church and religion.

missalister said...

This is so in tune with my thoughts. I like your writing and how you use it in the true blog way, to set forth who you are in your way, and your way happens to be one that draws readers in, draws me in. I dislike highlighting myself so turn to fiction to let bits of me out, but through your writing I see a possible beauty for anyone to unfold in a cool way, for even maybe me. LOL! Lightyears. No. But this is a beautiful start. And your NY pics were so divine. Oh, the way y’all look, I know, like I know like I KNOW it took you a week to settle back in to normal : )