I finished this story, a couple months back. Initially, the story included an 8 year old getting molested in the back of her uncle's car. This happened to a good friend of mine, in her youth, so I drew inspiration from this. The story has moved in a totally different direction since then. Youths are experimenting with sex at an earlier age, then they did, even 20 years back. In fact, many girls lose their virginity or perform oral sex on the basis of 'dares' or other 'society' games.
When I was a young girl, spin the bottle was considered fun, sexy and 'risqué'. Talking to an ex-lover, he told me he's been living on his own since he was 16 years old. He remembers his teenage years as successions of loft parties, Andy Warhol like, where 'people would have sex, all in the same room, high or drunk'. The story wasn't written as an opinion piece, I respect people's views on sexuality and how they want to apply these in their lives. What I don't condone is when people harm others, or when youth is misled about sex by their surrounding environment. SO, I've separated the story in 2 parts, because it is quite long. I'd love to hear what you think of it.
Warning: This story can get graphic and deals with sexual content.
Janet Jackson’s ‘Anytime, any place’ blared through the radio. My uncle, Armando who we nicknamed ‘Tiny’ because of his rail thin body, was driving me around in his brand new Cadillac.
His hair was gelled and huge sunglasses decorated his chiseled cheekbones. Tiny wasn’t a pretty boy but he had his way with women. My auntie Teresa was always fighting him, cussing about all the ‘high yella bitches’ he messed with.
She thought that by making Tiny baby sit me throughout the summer, he wouldn’t have the time to mess around on her. She was a fool to think a witness could ever stop my uncle. He would just bring me along; I would wait in the living room, while Tiny went into the bedroom. I watched TV, but mostly, I’d observe.
Relationships between men and women were captivating to me. Tiny was kind to me, his niece, but he was cold with the women he bedded. Sometimes, he was downright cruel. I didn’t understand how you could love some one who made you cry, who hit you. I didn’t understand why people stayed together if all they did was argue and render each other miserable.
That's why I was staying with my uncle; my parents were trying to work things out, patch up their crumbling marriage. Therefore, they sent me off to spend summer with my mother's half brother and his neurotic wife.
‘‘We gon’ go home right afta’ I take care of this one deal.’’ Tiny said and pulled the car into a drive way.
‘’Are we going to see one of your girlfriends again?’’ I asked.Tiny cut his eyes at me.
‘’They my lady friends, Niña, ok? Lady friends, not girlfriends, and don’t’chu mention none of this to your auntie.’’I rolled my eyes.
‘’I never tell her anything. I don’t even like her.’’
‘’That’s not a nice thing to say. Your aunt loves and cares for you.’’ Said Tiny, absently.
He honked twice before a tanned boy of about 18 strutted down the steps.
‘‘He, Tiny, my man!’’ He screamed and gave Tiny a bounce.
‘’Kool, you betta’ not waste more of my time, I got my niece with me.’’The boy named Kool laughed and opened the back seat
‘‘Why you sittin’ in the back for, you think I’m a fuckin cab driver?’’
‘‘I’m on probation, ain’t supposed to be out past 8, don’t want the cops seein’ me ridin’ up front in that nice ride of yours.’’
‘‘It’s a beauty, ain’t it.’ my uncle whistled proudly.
‘‘So, how’s business, what you got for me?’’
Shortly after I arrived to New York, my uncle let me know the rules; I don’t repeat anything I see to anyone, not even my aunt, no matter how hard she tried to pry it away from me. ‘You scratch my back, I scratch yours.’ Tiny had said. It was a good deal; Tiny gave me money every day, in exchange for my silence. What he did for a living, I could only guess.
They began talking in Spanish. I leaned my head on the car window, about to pass out of boredom. By the time they finished talking, it was close to 10 pm.
‘‘I’m hungry!’’ I complained.
‘‘You’re always hungry. We goin’ home, Teresa gon’ give me shit for bringing you back so late, ain’t no tellin’ what she might do if she know I fed you too.’’
‘‘C’mon, Uncle T, She won’t know.’’
‘‘I’m so hungry, I might forget myself and let my tongue slip on everywhere we’ve been today…’’ I threatened. Kool laughed, Tiny gave me a menacing look in the rearview mirror.
‘‘You trained her well.’’
Uncle Tiny chuckled.
‘‘Yaw, she’s a smart one. When she loses all that weight, she’ll be a pretty one too.’’
I cut my eyes at Tiny, embarrassed that he referenced to my weight in front of Kool. I was pudgy, but so was my mother when she was my age. When I desolated about my round belly and thighs, she reassured me 'it's only baby fat, it will melt away in no time.'
But I wanted to be skinny, today, not one day; I wanted to wear Pum pum shorts like my cousin, Lorena; Tiny's love child, his first born.
She was beautiful; she had cream skin, and wide bambi eyes, framed by thick lashes. She was 15, but most men in the neighborhood wanted her. To the point, her mother wouldn't leave her alone in presence of our male cousins and uncles.
‘'Men are men, Niña; you have to protect yourself, what is blood to them? Those perros sucios only think with one thing, one thing!'’ Her mother, Consuela, would say.
She was a Cubana, very religious. But my auntie Teresa had a different opinion of what she was praising.
‘'That woman is shameless, shameless! She pretend to be a woman of God but she go and have a child by my Armando. She goes and have his first child, how do I compete with that, huh, Mickey? Well, I tell you how. And you listen; if you don't take care of your man, someone else will. So, I give him his first son. There. I cook, I don't pretend my head hurts at night, I keep my house clean, I keep myself smelling nice and looking good. All those putas can say what they want, think what they want, but to who is Armando coming back to every night, every night for the past 17 years? Huh!’’ My aunt told me.
I was helping her make dinner; Bacalaitos, chicharrones and platanos.
I rolled my eyes but kept my lips pursed. I thought about reminding her that Tiny has been sleeping out near damn half the week, at least since I've arrived.
‘’And Lorena, you know, she like my daughter, but if the mother's a whore, then, the child can't help but be spoiled. Mickey, pass me the knife over there, and how are you cutting the platanos? That's no way, here, Dio Mio, I have to do everything by myself...'’
My aunt Teresa vented. Gossiped and made comments I was sure my own mother wouldn’t have made in front of me; a child. But I was learning. I was like a sponge thrown in the sea, sucking in information at the speed of light.
I cut my eyes at Tiny. Kool laughed.
‘‘Come on, T, there’s a Diner next street.’’
He turned towards me and asked.
‘’You like hamburgers? It’s on me.’
Uncle Tiny had enough money to buy the entire Diner but he grew up dirt poor in Santo Domingo and could never turn down a freebie. My aunt called it ‘his condition’.
Even when they were giving out free fruit and veggie baskets at the center, He’d sent me to ‘get what you can’. I’ve never seen my uncle eat anything that came directly from the earth, or a tree. But the baskets were free, so he had to have them.
My mother was black; Tiny had some Spanish in his nigger. His mother, a Dominicana, got herself pregnant by my Grandfather, in the hopes of marriage. She didn’t have her papers and she figured a man would give her citizenship if it meant staying close to his child. Well, she didn’t know my Poppa. She got deported, her new born in tow.
‘‘Well, you might as well add in a cheeseburger and Coke for me.’’ Tiny replied.
I rolled my eyes, 'cheap bastard.' I muttered. Uncle T. drove to the dinner and parked the car.
‘‘Well, go on.’’ He gestured for Kool to get out the car. Kool stripped a twenty from a thick wad of cash and replied.
Uncle Tiny sucked his teeth, took the money and got out of the car. He left the key in the ignition, Dr.Dre’s ‘Nuttin but a G thang’ playing.
‘’Don’t touch the radio.’’ He said and slammed the door.
‘‘I want a Chocolate milkshake!’ I screamed after him.Kool sat closer to me.
‘‘So, mami. I still don’t know your name.’’
‘‘Malaika, but every one calls me Mickey.’’ I said.
‘’That ain’t a Dominican name.’’
‘‘Nah. I ain’t none of that, I’m from St- Marten’’
Kool was skinny, but had a nice face with ivory teeth that were so white; he looked like he came out of a Colgate commercial.
‘’So. You have a bf, Mickey?’’I rolled my eyes.
‘’No. I’m too young to have a boyfriend.’’
‘’Too young? How old are ya?’’
‘’So you’ve never kissed a boy before, or did…Anything?’’I looked out the window, anxious to get my food.
‘'Nah, why would I kiss someone, when I ain't never had a bf?’’He laughed.
‘‘You are real pretty’’ He whispered in my ear and kissed my neck.
I froze up, surprised. Kool ran his hands on my thighs and rubbed them slowly.He smelled nice -like a Cayman soap bar and grounded pepper. He pressed his dark lips on my own, inserted his tongue in my mouth and began fondling me under my shirt. I felt odd, his fingers accented on my nipples, I couldn’t help but shudder.
I knew what sex was, obviously. Sometimes, when Tiny was in the bedroom with Aunt Teresa or one of his girlfriends, I heard the moaning, the soft cries and the rushed arguments.
Somehow, whatever happened between those walls erased or made the women forget they were not Tiny’s one and only.
I was curious, but I was conditioned by years of reprieve from every member of my family; ‘‘you don't let no boy touch you, you understand? Next ting you know, you come back with your belly swollen, and no man will marry you.’ my mother had told me, countless times.
I didn't care at the time; home wasn't like New York, or at least the Bronx. Here, everyone always seemed hot and bothered, like life revolved around sex. Back home, I only thought about it, when it was inescapable; like when my cat gave birth, or when the preacher had a baby out of wedlock. But then again, it was an after thought; sex for conception, never for pleasure.
But here I was, in the backseat of Tiny's Cadillac; my eyes closed, a boy fondling my breasts and sticking his tongue down my throat. He took my hand, licked my fingers and placed them on his groin. His eyes were like marbles, dark and shiny with excitement.
I felt his soft skin and I opened my eyes a bit. His penis was huge and black, almost purple. It looked grotesque compared to his light brown complexion. I gasped and removed my hand.
He laughed and pulled me closer.
‘’You’ve never seen a dick before?’’
He kissed me again and fondled himself with my fingers. He paused and unbuttoned my pants. I tried to push him away but the thought of a fight only made him more aroused. He started to insert his fingers in my panties.
‘’What are you doing?’’ I screamed.
‘’Trust me. I’ll make you feel nice.’’
I shut my legs tightly, and moved away from him.
‘’Aww, come on.’’ Kool groaned.’’ You’re such a tease!’’
I sucked my teeth.
‘’Better a tease, than a hoe.’’
I had heard that line before from one of Lorena's friends. I tried to emulate the way they talked, dressed and carried themselves. They were goddesses to me; they wore skin tight jeans, with thong straps showing.
I saw this look in Kool's eyes; like he had to have me. And I understood, finally, what my cousin meant when she said some man wanted to 'git it from her.'
Kool chuckled, like everything I said was so funny. He buttoned his pants and leaned back against the seat.
‘’You’re not from around here.’’
It wasn’t a question.
‘’You’re still a virgin?’’ He asked. I sucked my teeth.
‘’Yeah, until marriage.’’He laughed.
‘’Who feeds you this bullshit?’’
I lowered my eyes, suddenly feeling young and stupid. America was so different from back home. Everyone was more aggressive, everything moved faster.
‘’Then, you’re a good girl.’’
He licked his lips, seemed to ponder this for a moment. He fingered his long hair, and looked outside the car.
‘’You know how to braid?’’
‘’Good. Whenever you can get away from Tiny…’’
He took out a pen from his pockets and scribbled a number.
‘’My pager. I’ll take care of you. ‘’
He smiled. I hesitated; then put the paper in my jeans’ pocket. The front door opened and my uncle eyed us suspiciously. He handed me my food and made no effort to give back the change to Kool.
‘’One of you messed with the radio?’’ He asked.I rolled my eyes. Kool gave him his Colgate smile.
‘’Nah, man. I never mess with anotha’ man’s radio, golden rule.’’
He smiled at me and winked. Tiny put on some Spanish rap and we rolled out of the parking lot. We drove in silence; I slurped on my milkshake and played with my cheeseburger.
We dropped off Kool and Tiny drove back to the house.
TO BE CONTINUED...