Thursday, February 19, 2009

Column 9: A place in the Universe.


Feeling like Pluto.
I am surrounded by my fellow celestial bodies but I am all frost. I'm so far away, no one can reach me; Mars scolds me with its hot fire, Jupiter speaks a foreign language while Saturn keeps me at bay, with its rings of ice.
Somehow, Sometimes, I lose my alignment & I follow a movement of my own.
It's dark, it's novel, it's frightening, to follow a path you have accustomed to your own needs & desires.
Also, It feels lonely being Pluto, it would be so simpler to conform & align with my sister planets. All I want, is to find my place in the Universe.
I am melancholic today. Perhaps, it is the rain, the clouded sky or my intense toothache, or the sordid realization that I have less & less in common with the people in my life?
Or maybe, It is because...
I met someone.
His eyes are: Ice, cut glass, summer sky, Polish sea, sapphire, jazz, airhead candy, winter storms,
Debussy's Clair de lune.
His mind is like iron & fire, metaphysically outrageous, a constant stream of collision. Like a well, which has no bottom; how much can you learn, pry from its depth?
He makes me feel small, in a most exhilarating way.
He offers a challenge; seeds can germinate, I will be the garden, him-the cultivator.
Perhaps. Raspberries, tulips, sunflowers will blossom.


The problem is; He has someone in his life. I am unsure of their bond, thick or thin, wandering or strong. Either ways, it is not my place to destroy others' happiness, not my right to steal another's loved one. I don't want that kind of Karma stalking me, haunting me. &, how arrogant of me, to assume I have the power, if I chose, to break them apart.
But.
I also believe that, sometimes, life isn't black or white. There are situations that are 'grey', where rules fly out the window, where 1+1 never equals 2, & in which, the best one shall win.
Should I go for it, or at least build a friendship, let time unfold sentiment?


7 comments:

Retromus-ik said...

Just be his friend, see what happens. I didnt know you felt this strongly about him...

Nana said...

Well. I'm not in love. I'm interested, I think, if a man can make me nervous, it's a good look. Thx u 4 the advice;)

Naya said...

home wreckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Retromus-ik said...

Be quiet Naya;) A home cannot be wrecked if its built on a firm foundation. Being his friend SHOULD not wreck a home, and if it does then hey! all is fair in love and war. I sound harsh, I'll rephrase that, if in being his friend, he decides to leave his girl, then it wouldnt be your fault...as long as you're not trying to seduce him, cause yeah Bad Karma a la max.

Nana said...

LOL. Naya. Shut up before I wreck your home? Ok. Yeah. you heard me.

Naya said...

lol, ay ay ay..ima wreck you!!! nah ur right mama but it does open a door for something...nana u couldnt succeed if u tried!!!

floreta said...

i love your metaphor with the planets! i say at LEAST build a friendship. if he likes you and respects you he might want more if his current relationship ends. a man who is willing to cheat.. what does that say about his character?