Sunday, June 7, 2009

Sunday Scribblings # 166: Soul mates.

Totally unrelated to the post :-) I went to visit my friend, Cindy, on Saturday; both of our schedules have been hectic & now that things are calming down, we had a dinner (she's an amazing cook) & the traditional Red wine. We hit the club afterwards. The beautiful little girl is Michou, Cindy's daughter. I had to try the wig... Just had too. :-)

When I was a child, I held the unwavering belief that when you loved someone, they automatically loved you. It didn't cross my mind that one person can be in love with another, for years or a lifetime, without the other reciprocating.
Obviously, I ended up learning the true complexities of human relationships when a crush didn't return my affection & instead, took a liking to my best friend. I was 10 at the time.
Of course, I was bummed, but Edgar was every body's crush (my 2 sisters liked him, as well) & after I got over my deception, I felt proud that he has chosen MY best friend, it made him mine, in a twisted, childish way...

Years & many, many men later, my views on love & relationships shifted, were tossed away, replaced by new 'truths'.
Perhaps, the only concept that has remained intact is my belief in Soul mates.

I believe that a soul mate is someone that understands & nourishes you. He makes you dream; when you wake up in the morning, no matter the weather or the hectic week ahead, his presence soothes you, his words inspire & strengthen, his mind captivates.
He is an infinite well of goodness, positivity & love. He thinks you are beautiful even when you have the flu; your nose is runny & red, you have bags under your eyes & your lips are dry.

When he looks at the scar on your stomach, from a Cesarean, he sees creation & not ruin. He is a good father to your children; he tells them bed time stories, rubs Vicks on their backs when they are sick, plays dungeon & dragons. He teaches them about life, he isn't a minimalist, he shares the task of disciplining & raising your kids. In the household, you share chores; He will cook, he will clean, just as much as you do.

After all, he reminds you 'We are a team, & 'We' is only as strong as 'you' & 'me'.'
When you make love, there is no boundaries, no limits; your limbs become water & you become a vast Ocean; Him & you, You & him. Where does it end, where does it begin.

Of course, you will fight. There will be times when doors will be slammed, plates will be broken, when you will take a pillow & a blanket, sleep on the couch. Sometimes, you will wake up & make coffee & breakfast, only for yourself. You will say things to each other that you don't really mean. Perhaps, you will never make up.
Because, too often, Soul mates do break up.
Maybe one day, he will leave or you will change the locks, perhaps it will be cordial or will include a horde of lawyers & assessments of what belongs/ who's entitled to what.

BUT. No one you will ever meet will measure up to Him. What you've felt, what you've lived will never be re-created with the same strength, the same passion.

UNLESS, the Heavens truly adore you, & you stumble upon another soul mate. I believe that there's more than one, out there, for everyone.

Sometimes, you will meet a soul mate & tarnish the love, because you haven't taken the time to work on yourself. You don't know who you are, what you like, where you want to be. If you don't know where you're going, how can you know what you want from your Lover?

I believe it is important to fall in love with yourself, before you let anyone in. Spend some alone time, meditate, get your life together. Who are you? What do you need, now, what do you want; there is a difference between desires & needs. Figure it out.

The dangerous thing about Soul mates; He can be yours, but you might not be his. C'est la vie.


floreta said...

yes yes yes and YES! i agree with everything you have to say about soul mates. especially that we may encounter more than one, or have more than one out there.

"Sometimes, you will meet a soul mate & tarnish the love, because you haven't taken the time to work on yourself." EXACTLY! "I believe it is important to fall in love with yourself, before you let anyone in." Such gems! and the lovemaking bit about limbs turning into water and the vast ocean... beautiful!!

you are beautiful! love the pics.

i wrote about soul mates on the group blog i'm in! [link on my profile]

Whitesnake said...

Spot on Girl!
Brilliant piece...

The food looked good......

Didn't notice any other pictures......

Tumblewords: said...

Ah, I like your post - it's well written and nicely said!

Strawberry Girl said...

I agree with you here, I've come to much the same conclusion. Especially about working on knowing yourself, very important!!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I love your insight. It speaks truth in volumes. But, I can add that sometimes one person may not realize their soulmate until that soulmate is gone.

Thank you so much for thinking of Tangerine on her birthday. She had a wonderful day and you made it special even from afar.

anthonynorth said...

You've hit on the secret here. Well said.

~EssenseVibez~ said...

clapping--->{standing ovation}
well written--valid points and gurllll, you are wearin' that dress!!!----you look like {if i may say)a damsel in distress in the wig---need to get me one so i can play that role with my hubby---i'm always trying to keep the flame lit after 26 years of marriage---LOL---you are a stunning beauty---luv ya gurlfriend!!!

floreta said...

hehe i wanted to comment again just to say you look like/remind me of a girl i used to know in middle school. i think she's living in south africa now? she's beautiful as are you!!

gautami tripathy said...

Great photos!

Loved the baby and you!

stuck in time

Unbreakable said...

This is just great, you hit every possible point to perfection,i will have to agree with you 99.99%.

You look Great!! in your little green dress...much better without the Wig.

Strawberry Girl said...

We are "Kindred Spirits" then, in regards to Anne of Green Gables that is. :D

That is the trip of a life time, going out to PEI and seeing all the sights. *Sigh

My mom and I intend to go up there sometime.

I like how you think girl!! :D

Nana said...

@Floreta: Thank you, hun! I heard south Africa was very beautiful, it's definitely a place i'd want to visit.
@Whitesnake: lol! The food was very good; I overate... :S
@Tumblewords: thx u!
@Strawberry girl: Kindred spirits! :-) Anne was so ..innocent & sensitive. My mom read all the books, when she was a teen, she said she cried so much when one of Anne's sons died. I'd definitel reccomen PEI, they have amazing, fresh sea food as well. It's very a small island & cozy island. The only thing that was odd, is that people aren't used to seeing interrracial couples! They were looking at my parents & my sister, with alot of curiosity.
@Simone: Aww, hun, Im glad she liked the gift :-)
@Anthonynorth: Thhhhxxx uuuu.
@Essence Vibez: Love you 2 girl. I'm so amazed that you're keeping your relationship of 26 years hot & exciting.
@Gautami: lol, you love me? Just kidding, the baby is a cutie, she's priceless.
@Unbreakable: lol, Yes, the wig made me look a bit like a hooker, no?

Dee Martin said...

Very well thought out and beautifully said.

Lion-ess said...

How messed up is that..
"The dangerous thing about Soul mates; He can be yours, but you might not be his."

missalister said...

Oh, I love the way you dream it all out, like your heart’s a vial of endless love and possibilities and you pull out the stopper for a few minutes and let a little of your lifeblood curl around and make words and magic. I have no thing to say outright about soul mates, but I like that you do, how you tell it, and how you end it in a touché way. Loved “Tangerine,” too, btw, and sent you an e-mail : )