Saturday, April 4, 2009

On Love&Trust.

Luck (or fate) has it that my character, Lola, says my favorite line in the play:

‘‘No.You’re not (in love with her). If you were really in love, you wouldn’t say ‘Yes’, like that. Cause love is scary and you’re never sure whether you’re in it or not. And you’d never say it like that ‘Yes’. (You’d say) ‘Yes, I am in love’’

When you love blindly; you are always restless, your heart is a frail crystal & you have placed it on the edge of a high cliff. Its preservation depends on elements out of your control; if the wind is too strong, or too weak, if there is erosion of the stone, the crystal will fall into the abyss & shatter into a thousand pieces. Your lover may give his love in return, but who will be the trashing wind, who will be the hand that seals the crystal’s faith?
Love alone, the passionate lustful hopeful love, will come to an end. If you accompany it with trust, it will transform into a soothing love that defies time & logic.

Yesterday, I felt champagne bubbles in my head. I can’t explain, words fail me, but it means that the ice inside me is melting. It’s scary, it’s freeing, it’s exciting.
I feel like the old me is resurfacing, bit by bit.
I love&trust myself.

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