His skin was damp, vaporous drops of sweat cradled in the crevices of his collarbone, and he smelled sweet and musky like white wine. His smooth skin wrinkled around his eyes in a pool of blackness and his lips were etched- as if a potter cut parallel lines on his lower lip with a clay scalpel. His sweet mouth was agape and his hands were grasping the sheets with an intensity that made me believe that his dreams weren’t as peaceful as he appeared, lying here besides me. My head was like jelly, I didn’t get enough sleep. I was worrying until the early hours of the morning about Macoris’ whereabouts. I thought of my life as a big jigsaw puzzle- somewhere, there were all the pieces that I needed to make myself whole again. But where to start, where to go? How to restart living without him?
I looked at Macoris, a gush of love streamed from every pore of my body. I put my hand on his naked torso and drew the outline of his blackberry-dark nipples. I let my lips run on each of them, and teased them with my tongue. He stirred and I withdrew. I still loved him with the same intensity, my body was still drunk off his nectar and I needed him in my life. God. To think that I, out of everybody, succumbed to the charms of a man. To think that I have let go of all restraints and allowed him to climb back into bed with me, aware that he had been with someone else…
I smelled her. The incandescent Chanel that radiated off of his flesh. I leaned towards the floor and scooped off his pants. I felt for the 3 condom pack that he had bought the night before. We had made love once. I opened the box and the bloody proof lay in my hand; one lifestyle condom. I fought against the urge to kick his sides until his ribs dug in his internal organs, and fractured against the strength of my feet like crushed glass.'